Happy birthday Brandon!
Thursday 25th November, 2010 - 12:05am with 0 comments
My brother is 15. Happy birthday to him. I always forget that our age gap is so… large. O_O;
I ran into him in his room just now. He disappeared from MSN and said he didn’t want to be online at 12 midnight, at which time some random old friends and people he can’t remember/doesn’t remember/doesn’t even know anymore wish him a happy birthday.
“It’s like, ‘err… thanks?’”
XD
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On Love: The Journey and 43 quintillion
Saturday 9th October, 2010 - 12:44am with 0 comments
This is a little something I wrote to my dear friend Sebastian…
“… but you can’t wait around for something like that. You can’t be 100% sure it’s coming. And think about it this way: You can’t just sit there and wait; sometimes you have to pull your socks up and take a step yourself, without forcing it to come. Sort of the way people “look for love”. LOL it’s stupid, I know. But you do it the other way. You make friends, talk to lots of people, be nice.
Honestly, I personally do not think you can be lovers before you are friends. So you go about doing it in the nicest, most unhurtful way possible. People who force it – suck. They’re the manipulative, selfish people like Bearman. They’re people who just want whatever it is in the core of it. They don’t see what is on the outside. It’s a shell of friendship – you have to find that first.
You cant open the door without the key. You can’t love someone until you understand them the way a friend does. Yeah, there’ll be people, but there’s a way to people. There’s a way to earn their feelings in the way we all imagine and want. But it’s always a difficult path. Friendships are different, which is why love is hard (quoth James Morrison).
You have to be friends, and people are all different. It’s why the friend you are to me is different from the friend I have, in, say, Ryan. Like when we talked about fires. You have the sticks but it could be a different fire if you tried to remake it after it died. Here we have the same sticks but the sticks are still different… some are older than others, have a different way of reacting; the sticks are standard. You know, win someone’s heart by doing nice things, being their friend, etc.
But the way you do it; it’s different. It’s why no two relationships are ever the same.
Love is a piece of shit. Let’s face it.
I’m just saying, it’s hard, but looking at it, there are 293075304875029481085 possibilities for it.
You have the sticks but there are 293075304875029481085 ways to do the one thing.
Just like there are 43 quintillion ways to solve a Rubik’s cube.
Just the way some people reach the same destination, in different ways.
Just the way you, me, Ryan, Dahlia, Vicky, Rachel, and everyone else ended up in the same course at the same university. :)
Chin up, bb.
(But despite that y’know I can’t solve a Rubik’s cube.)
But I’ve seen my brother do it.
You’ve seen people fall in love.
It’s totally possible.”
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Being in love…
Monday 20th September, 2010 - 2:32pm with 0 comments
I found this on the internet a while back…
Being in love is the worst and the best feeling in the entire world.
It hurts so much when you’re not being with the person you love.
It hurts when you find out that they want someone else, it hurts quite a bit.
But it is the best when you are with that person and you have all of their attention.
And the only thing that they want to do is talk to you.
It feels so good when they see the good in you, the good that not even you can see.
It hurts when you argue over little things, especially things that you did.
You know you are wrong, but you didn’t mean for it to be.
When you only have the best of intentions but you manage to fuck it up anyways.
It feels so good when they call you beautiful or smart or funny.
It hurts so much when you love someone so badly that it feels like your throat is beginning to be ripped out.
It feels so good when you don’t care about your feelings anymore, when the only thing you want is for them to be happy.
It hurts so much when you feel that you love them too much, a different level of love.
When you think that they need the space that is so hard to give them.
It feels so good when you find out that they don’t want that space, when they just want pure unsaturated you.
It hurts so much when you are shedding tears writing this because you are so fucked up and you know they deserve better.
But it feels so good when they don’t give up on you and when you are actually crying.
It hurts so much when you know that you will have to let them go someday, when they grow out of you.
But it feels good to be able to grab on to that same love and cling to it, when it’s the only reason you have for not killing yourself.
When you suffer every day through reality just because you don’t want them to be hurt.
When in the front of your mind you play it as if they don’t care, but deep back there you know they do. When every moment you ache because life hurts so bad and you can’t tell anyone.
Not even the one you love.
You love them so much that you don’t want to bother them with your pain.
When you want to hear about how great their day was, and the smile on their face or the joy in their tone makes life a little more bearable.
It feels so good when the noise and the agony goes away just by them saying “Hello”.
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To love
Friday 17th September, 2010 - 7:44pm with 0 comments
How I came to appreciate that which I used to dislike…
“Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.”
— Donald Miller
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All is Full of Love
Wednesday 1st September, 2010 - 2:09pm with 1 comment
My sweetie James took this photo. ♥
Posted in Love, Photos, Quotes | 1 Comment
All You Need Is Love
Friday 27th August, 2010 - 4:51pm with 0 comments
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Take me as I am
Thursday 19th August, 2010 - 9:42pm with 2 comments
Fuck you. I’m not even going to bother pointing out who you are. The lot of you, the very lot of you. People, people, people. From a young age, my bitterness towards people has gotten me nowhere, but I insist that in this day and age and in this life, it is the essence of my contemplations. Fuck the world.
No. To put it simply, though: boys and girls can be friends, so fuck you if you think otherwise. I don’t even want to tell you how much I want to punch that into your closed-minded brain, but I do. I don’t even want to prove it to you, living out a friendship with one of my guy friends for however many years you even deem “friends” to be called “friends”.
Option 1: Just accept it and move on.
Which you’re not going to fucking do until you know, huh? So you just have to go on and ask my oldest “brother” about everything because you won’t ask it to my fucking face. Oh hell yeah. Idiot.
I don’t understand. Just because you spend a lot of time with someone of the opposite gender, it doesn’t mean they’re your partner, or you’re a couple. If that was so totally the case, I think I might have had, what, 7 evil exes by now? (Yeah you, Scott Pilgrim reference, just FYI.) So I’ll have you know, from myself right here, that I’ve got James and that is that.
Option 2: The PSWA.
I would not recommend this; I’ll slaughter you and feed your guts to the fish in the rivers. An old friend of mine went behind my back (after everything I thought he did for me) and called me the PSWA – paedophile slut with AIDS. Yeah, to say I was hurt is a fucking understatement.
The norms of society are completely corrupted. The same way gays struggle to have a normal place in this world. I couldn’t even date someone a few days younger than me without being verbally mutilated. Then, came the short bunch. Not to mention that one short ex-boyfriend led to a lathering of degrading words on my part, bringing back all previous crushes and squishes, what have you. (And thoughts of possible asexuality right now seep through and sort of sting.)
Option 3: Ignore it.
The option I’d like to take, but very well can’t. These things hurt. And I’d just like to prove my initial point to you with logic. You cannot have love without friendship. Love is a friendship that has caught fire. People in love are in a relationship. If a girl and boy can fall in love, they can be friends.
It’s just that simple. If you fall in love, you have an underlying friendship. To end this just as I started, fuck you.
Posted in Friends, Love, Rants | 2 Comments
I’m getting into you, because you got to me.
Wednesday 18th August, 2010 - 12:09pm with 0 comments
This took place on the 20th May 2009.
James: We’re so different but we have so much in common.
Georgie: Where?
James: Everywhere. You’re pretty and I’m not. You like making websites and stuff and I don’t. YOU’REZOOCUTE and I’m “hrrrng”.
Georgie: How do we have stuff in common?
James: I don’t know. There isn’t… really very much. I love you so muggs.
Georgie: I love you very muggs. ♥
Posted in Chats, Love | No Comments
Maybe I did.
Monday 9th August, 2010 - 11:11am with 0 comments
Song title: A Lonely September
Artist: Plain White T’s
Album: Stop
Well I didn’t mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn’t mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn’t mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn’t mean to love me back, but I know you did
I guess I liked what we had. In a way, I miss it so much. I miss the way it felt, the way it made me feel, and every single consequence. Maybe it’s because we got through in the end, or we’re getting through, or we are through.
Edit — 12:23pm James just pointed out to me that this — this block of lyrics — doesn’t need to be seen sadly. Unexpected love? ♥ ♥
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We could have fallen in love.
Saturday 7th August, 2010 - 7:51pm with 0 comments
I’m not going to deny it… sometimes I listen to music… such as Falling in Love by McFly, which is now playing in iTunes. And I think, regrettably, about the past, and how things might have been different.
Out of our minds, and out of time,
Wishin’ I could be with you,
To share the view, oh
We could’ve fallen in love
I know there are things that would have made the present different, if I said one less word, made one less mistake, waved one less wave, smiled one less smile. I know, that evidently, I could have been with someone else. Falling in love is a beautiful thing, and we might fall in love more than once. We might fall in love and something fails. I have been with other people. I have fallen in love with other people.
But that doesn’t matter, for I see where I am now. With James, right now, I feel like I can fall in love over and over again… with the same person. ♥