Eleven things I still have trouble believing.

Friday 13th May, 2011 - 10:08pm with 0 comments

1. That I met Ben Jorgensen.
2. That I own the fanlisting for the Smashing Pumpkins.
3. I’m actually in university… this still gets me every day, knowing I actually made it.
4. That I still talk to Lilian and have her as my best friend after years and years of high school and despite only seeing each other about once a year.
5. That I’m still with James. I just feel so lucky. ♥
6. That I actually have an idea of what I want to do when I graduate. I’ve never been so confident about all my decisions before.
7. That I actually want to do a Masters degree. Back in high school I would have just wanted to butt out; I was failing so hard and I hated education. A lot.
8. That I have had the same job for three years, and it’s my first ever job too. I’m not getting bored, and I’m starting to like it? Why can’t full-time work be like this? Well, I hope it is. Or will be.
9. My laptop has lasted two years. I just can’t shake the thought. Fin is such a strong bastard. xD
10. I lost my iPhone only three months ago. It drove me fucking insane and I know the thief is out there somewhere. Rotting in hell, hopefully.
11. That I’m here at all. Five years ago, I self harmed and became suicidal. I didn’t want to live. I just wanted everything to end. It makes me cry to think about it. I’m lucky. And I found myself help. I don’t have a single thought of hurting myself. I always have hope and belief that I am strong and I can pick myself up and go on. And I can’t believe I got myself out of that hole. With helping hands. But still, part of that was because I made the decision to get out of there.

Posted on: Friday, May 13th, 2011 at 10:08 pm
Categories: Contemplation
Tags: life · reflection
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