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The future is not so far.

Thursday 28th October, 2010 - 8:41pm with 3 comments

I don’t know why I think so far into the future sometimes. Sometimes it hurts.

Our family has already planned a trip at the end of 2011 to early 2012. We’re going to Indonesia. One of my cousins who lives there is getting married.

I’m jealous.
I’m sad.
I’m envious.
I’m glad.

I’m jealous because I want to get married too.
I’m sad because I’ll miss people when I go to Indonesia.
I’m envious because I’m not the one getting married.
I’m glad because I get to see family I haven’t seen in a while.

All these mixed feelings really get to me. Most of all, I’m going to feel homesick. Last time I went to Indonesia in 2007, I stayed there for pretty much 40 days. I didn’t really have any contact with my friends here. I could send them one email when I was at the airport, and when my cousin’s internet finally worked I could use it.

I missed people.

And that’s what I fear. I am already thinking of how I can use the internet or keep myself occupied. I cried because I was so bored last time. I did my homework and it was terrible. I cannot live for so long and so far away from home… especially when I am not that close to my relatives.

I’m already wondering if I can take Fin1, and if I can use my iPhone. Last time I went… my mum didn’t even let me take Max2 or my plushie dog. I drew about 40 doodled artworks… that being one each day.

Except, despite being so homesick, I sort of cried on the plane home.

All this thinking blurred my mind. I forgot the time… I forgot about my assignment due tomorrow… I forgot about where I was.

James is going to Hong Kong early next year. Lilian is going to Malaysia. I wish I had any chance of going with them – but I don’t. Partially because my mum is going to worry about me and just won’t even think it’s a good idea.

I hate missing people. I really do.

  1. My laptop. ↩
  2. My guitar. ↩
Posted on: Thursday, October 28th, 2010 at 8:41 pm
Categories: Contemplation, Friends
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3 Comments — on “The future is not so far.”

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Lilian

Thursday 28th October, 2010 at 9:03 pm

Awwwwwww :( *hugs*.

It’s alright, just live for the moment. I’ll miss you heaps when I’m back in Malaysia, and I’ll feel totally lost not talking to you on msn every night, but I’ll be back in Australia before you know it :).

You will too. When you go to Indonesia. So just enjoy the moments while they are there, and hope you have more internet access than last time :).

[Reply]

Rin

Friday 29th October, 2010 at 4:02 am

I have never been away from home that long so I don’t really know the “miss” feelings. I used to miss my family when I was little, but now… I don’t really go anywhere, so yeah…

I think you could bring Fin and your iPhone. Those are what people usually bring when they go on vacation. :)

I know how it feels when you’re not that close to your relatives. It’s like, there are a lot of things that you cannot ask for. I’d feel shy to ask for the internet. Nowadays, everyone is using it! They would say yes if I ask, but I know that they might want to use it too. Things would be easier if they own a wireless internet. :x

I try to get along with my cousins. Play card games or whatever.. I hope you can enjoy yourself there. We won’t be gone even if you are not here for a few weeks.

<33 *hugs*

[Reply]

Rin

Friday 29th October, 2010 at 4:05 am

Acks, forgot to add this in my comment:

I don’t think that much about my future (ACK, THIS KID). I try not to think about it, hehe. What use to worry myself when I don’t even know what will really happen? Just live for the moment, like what Lilian said. <33

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